I just read about a couple in Manatee County, Florida that must now register as convicted sex offenders for having sex on a public beach with other people present. Someone’s grandmother filmed it with her phone.  The defense claimed the woman was only dancing on the man.  I just happen to be visiting Florida next week, and since I believe society needs to become more open about loving sexuality in order to become more peaceful, the headline caught my attention.


Of course, the jury found that the couple wasn’t merely dancing, they were having sex on a beach in the presence of other people of all ages. But should that be punishable by 15 years’ imprisonment? Also, if it isn’t being done in the nuclear family setting where feelings of jealousy, abandonment, competition and other potentially explosive emotions could result due to the very limited social experience the nuclear family affords, would it be harmful for small children to see adults having sex?


Before going further, I would like to share my version of the song “I Hope You Dance,” and I’ve included a photo of a couple who really are just dancing on a Florida beach. The original version of this song by Lee Ann Womack was a beautiful country ballad heavily influenced by religion. I made the lyrics more secular, sped the song up and made some changes to the melody and rhythm.



Again, I look to the bonobos, who have a peaceful society in which there is no war, no murder, no child abuse, where rape is not tolerated, where all children are wanted and fully parented by their mothers. They do not keep track of paternity. The bonobos do not idealize romance or parenthood, nor require or promote marriage. They have no dogma about such things. It is only in our money-driven world where these control mechanisms have been put into practice and are required to keep the social order we have in place. But our social order includes war, murder, rape, unwanted children, child abuse, and many other ills, which we are encouraged to pray to God about while we continue to tolerate the intolerable.


Well, my prayer is this: that we start following The Bonobo Blueprint. One way would be to not imprison this couple for 15 years, and to not require them to register as sex offenders.


Another way might be to no longer ask men to take financial and legal responsibility for children. It may be better if women who have children live in communities which are supportive of motherhood/co-parenthood, which offer affordable housing, and food.  Men would be welcome, respected, and loved, but not controlling.

I think we should be as much like the bonobos as we can to re-envision society and create it anew.

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